Rolling in the Right Direction

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously stated, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” While this may sound like an oversimplification of our close relationships, the point is to understand how the people closest to us influence our thoughts, habits, and even our choices. Though this evaluation is not intended for judgment, it highlights the profound impact we have on one another. These people have become the inner circle within our “sphere of influence”, which acts as a compass that determines our direction in life. 

The law of averages suggests that the result of any given situation is the average of all outcomes. Similarly, our relationships function like a force that pushes us forward or keeps us from moving at all.

In class, New Roots mentors like to exercise this principle through a set of exercises that illuminate the effect one may have on another when it comes to reaching a goal or working as a team.

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In the first exercise, two classmates will come together inside a wheel and attempt to push in opposite directions. This is a classic example of relationships with opposing goals. It results in one keeping the other from moving forward, despite their hard work. The problem students find in this exercise represents relationships that lack any shared vision or purpose. It seems as if these people are consistently pulling in the wrong direction or preventing any potential for momentum. This resistance in the wrong direction can represent many elements of a toxic relationship like negativity, incompatible values, or conflicting priorities. Without unity, forward motion becomes impossible.

The second exercise represents the lack of growth that can result in unhealthy relationships. A student will attempt to move the wheel forward while another remains still, resulting in a wheel that fails to roll. This dynamic reflects instances in which one person may seek growth while the other stagnates. The imbalance creates emotional strain on the person attempting to move forward and often results in discouragement or feelings of abandonment. It really shows how growth can become so much more challenging when those around you are uninterested in growing themselves.

The next exercise explored the concept of hyper-independence. There are always individuals that convince us and themselves “I can do it all by myself.” During this exercise, some students believe that they can move the wheel alone and get further than the others before them. While they could move the wheel, it required much more effort and was ultimately an unstable process. This exercise provides an example of why independence is valuable but by refusing support, unnecessary struggle is inevitable. No one can achieve their full potential through isolation.

The final exercise illustrates the power of a shared vision. In this case, the students are asked to step into the wheel, and all move forward together in the same direction. With communication and collaboration, the students can roll the wheel seamlessly. Ultimately, this is what a healthy sphere of influence should be, full of people who support you and share your vision. When the people around you understand your aspirations, you create momentum together and progress will accelerate.

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New Roots mentors apply the examples of this exercise to many of life’s challenging moments when dealing with relationships. The concepts translate into real world instances and help students understand the context of their own relationships, now and in the future.

The sphere of influence plays a large role in shaping our future, and the people closest to us will most likely play a part in the direction we are going. Ask yourself, do they push you forward or hold you back? The power of choice belongs to us, and choosing the right influences may be the most powerful decision we make. Surround yourself with people that move with you, not against you, and your journey will lead to far greater success.