One Conversation Could Save a Child

The month of April has been designated as Child Abuse Prevention Month. It’s a time for communities across the nation to come together and take action in supporting stronger families and healthier children. This year holds the theme of “Powered By Hope,  Strengthened By Prevention”, recognizing that a family’s right to support builds a brighter future for their children. All of this in an effort to proactively prevent child abuse through advocacy, education, and community engagement. 

The healing process for victims of abuse doesn’t begin until they share their stories. Sharing these experiences not only sheds light on the trauma shared by so many, but it creates the potential for real change. It inspires vigilance and allows people to recognize the signs and patterns that otherwise go unseen. Though, having the courage to speak out on their abuser is not guaranteed. 

One way we can begin to shift the trend of suffering in silence is by creating safe spaces for young ones to talk, and to start encouraging the potentially abused to open up. It’s important for them to know that no matter how bad it is, there is always someone who can help. Often, children who are experiencing this kind of abuse do not disclose it while it occurs, leaving them powerless and allowing the abuse to continue unchecked. Of the countless stories shared by survivors of abuse, many regret not telling anyone sooner.

Tiffani was a child who suffered unimaginable trauma at the hands of a close adult she believed she could depend on. A little girl feeling deserted without her father, put her trust in a man who distorted her dependence into years of grooming, physical and sexual abuse, and emotional turmoil. She endured, and suffered in silence for more than a decade, leading to multiple suicide attempts and developing a coping mechanism of self-harm to gain any semblance of self-control. Though she believed deep down that he was in possession of her life. Her loved ones didn’t know how to talk about it, so they stopped trying, and from that moment forward she felt that her healing would be a solitary journey. 

At 31 she has been seeking ongoing therapy after years of isolation and believes that the most powerful offering to victims of abuse is the opportunity to be heard, believed, and given the tools to heal. She feels that her healing will never truly arrive, but she is always walking towards it through recognition and redirection of triggering moments, allowing her to push back against the darkness.

What is Tiffany’s message? “Don’t leave the burden on the child. It’s too big and too heavy for anyone to carry alone, but for a kid, it feels too big to tell. Don’t make them do it alone.”

Understanding what some of these children go through reveals a harsh reality, but there is potential to reduce the number of these traumatic events by recognizing the signs and normalizing the conversation. 

 “Has anyone hurt you?”

“Why are you so angry?”

Either of these questions asked by a trusted adult has the potential to save someone from continued abuse. Allowing a victim to confide in you when they are most vulnerable should never be ignored, just like their words should never be minimized. Despite people’s good intentions, phrases like “You should be over it by now” or “You need to try to forgive and forget” have the potential to re-traumatize and possibly do more harm than good.

Awareness of these kinds of stories better equips us to recognize the signs of abuse and to keep our minds open to even the worst possibilities. It also allows us to stand up and do something about it, keeping the abused from suffering in isolation. Contact authorities such as Social Services or Law Enforcement or reach out to the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453). Communicate to the child that you are there for them and that you will do whatever you can to help and that they are not alone. Be there for them.

Family & Youth Initiatives believes in sustaining awareness through our education provided to Parenting Network clients, and by instilling confidence and self-worth in both our New Roots Mentoring and Real Life Choices programs. Our clients are offered resources such as classes teaching the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse, and a place to have open and trusting communication with our team and with other parents. We want to do our part in keeping every child safe and every home healthy by supporting our neighbors and listening to those willing to share.

Visit our JOIN THE MISSION page to see how you can support families in your area.